Unexpected Tears

Lately I’ve noticed how a few stories - mostly kid’s books that I read to my oldest daughter over and over - bring me to tears.  Each time, tears well up from within me. 


I must admit that it’s hard to hear your soul speak while reading to a three year old who notices if I even sniffle, much less, all out weep. But these stories bring up that feeling of weeping. Do you know that feeling? Maybe you’ve watched a movie, listened to a song, looked at a painting, and almost by surprise, you could just - weep.

WEEP.

The kind of crying in which your whole body shakes and it seems that something from deep inside of you is trying to get out – like tears that are old, long buried, but dying to be expressed.

That kind that doesn’t make sense to you intellectually, but you know is expressing a profound truth about your life.

That kind that exhausts you once it’s over, but leaves you also feeling somehow lighter, freer.

That’s the kind of weeping that these stories have unearthed.

These words of Frederick Buechner keep coming to mind:

“Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next.” Whistling in the Dark

I paid closer attention.

It just so happens that as I did, the threads that weave these stories together have become much clearer - Buechner couldn’t be wiser.  God's timing couldn't be more...perplexing! 

Not only has God been telling me more about who I am through these stories, He’s been telling me my His-story. The story that I’ve lived and the places of pain that I’ve kept closed off from His healing hands. And He’s been inviting me to let Him “re-write” my story and show me how He can heal wounds that go back to the beginning of me.

I can be a slow learner, but I’m listening more closely to those unexpected tears these days – even amidst my two little ones.

How about you? Have you noticed tears in your eyes at unexpected moments or stories that have stirred your soul lately?

I pray that we have the ears to hear and the courage to listen and follow Him.

Peace be with you,

Kristie